I had one of those moments this week when the words came out of my own mouth and I almost wanted to look around and see who said them.
Except it was me.
ME. 😂
I was at ISW (Interviewing Skills Workshop) training on my day off. Most of what we covered wasn’t exactly new territory for me, but there were a few things I picked up along the way. During one of the breaks, I was talking with another manager and listening to him describe some of the struggles he was having.
And Lord, if I didn’t hear myself from 2023 coming out of that man’s mouth.
I knew that frustration.
I knew that feeling of knowing something needed to get done and believing the easiest way to make sure it got done right was to just handle it yourself.
So I chimed in.
I told him the first thing he needed to do was give himself permission to let go of the task.
Teach somebody else how to do it.
Then coach them.
After all, that’s why those folks were hired.
And somewhere between saying it and hearing myself say it, I had this little moment:
ME! I said that!
Because apparently somewhere along the way, I learned something. 😂
Not from a training class.
Not because somebody handed me the perfect five-step plan.
I learned it by carrying too much, getting tired, trying again, learning to trust people, figuring out what actually needed my hands on it and what didn’t.
Funny thing is, the rest of that day seemed determined to keep proving the point.
Apparently GPS Knows the Way to Mama’s
When training was over, I plugged my phone in to charge and up popped the map.
For a second I wondered why in the world GPS was still carrying on.
Then I remembered I’d used it to get to training.
Of course, now it knew where I was headed next.
Mama’s.
I laughed.
Honey, I know how to get to Mama’s in just about every direction possible. I don’t need GPS for that trip.
But there it was anyway, ready to help.
And maybe that’s what made me notice the whole thing.
How many times do we keep doing something ourselves simply because we can?
I can find Mama’s house.
I can cook supper.
I can handle the task at work.
I can remember what needs doing.
I can figure out what we’re eating tomorrow.
I can organize the cabinet.
I can solve the problem.
I can carry it.
But somewhere along the way, “I can” quietly becomes “I have to.”
Those aren’t the same thing.
Then I Walked Through the Door
By the time I got home, Bubba had cooked supper.
That sentence right there might not sound earth-shattering to anybody else.
Around here?
That’s a whole little love story. 😂
I didn’t have to walk through the door and start figuring out food.
I didn’t have to stand in front of the refrigerator doing that tired little stare we all know too well.
Supper was done.
Better yet, there was enough for me to have lunch for work the next day.
One thing taken care of had quietly taken care of another thing too.
And I didn’t do either one.
I just got to receive it.
That’s when all those little pieces of the day started bumping into each other.
The manager conversation.
The GPS.
Bubba cooking.
Tomorrow’s lunch already handled.
None of it was dramatic.
Nobody stood in my kitchen with a banner announcing PERSONAL GROWTH HAS OCCURRED. 😂
Life just kept moving.
But I noticed.
Maybe That’s What Has Changed
I’ve spent a lot of years being capable.
And being capable is a good thing.
Until you start believing capability means responsibility for everything.
That’s a mighty heavy way to live.
Maybe some of you know that feeling.
You’re the one who knows where everything is.
You’re the one who remembers what everybody needs.
You’re the one thinking about supper while you’re still at work.
You’re the one who knows what’s in the freezer, when the appointment is, what needs replacing, who needs calling and whether there’s enough clean laundry to make it through tomorrow.
You get so good at carrying things that sometimes nobody even realizes you’re carrying them.
Sometimes you don’t realize it either.
Then one day somebody cooks supper.
Or learns the task.
Or remembers something without you reminding them.
Or a little system you put into place yesterday does its job today.
And suddenly you realize the world didn’t fall apart because your hands weren’t on everything.
Well lookie there.
A Little Less Carrying This Week
I’ve been thinking about that as I look around my own cozy chaos.
Because Chaos to Cozy has never really been about getting so organized that nothing ever goes sideways.
Good grief. Have y’all met my life? 😂
It’s about making real life a little easier to live inside.
Sometimes that’s using what we already have.
Sometimes it’s preparing something today that keeps tomorrow from starting at zero.
Sometimes it’s choosing the simple supper instead of the impressive one.
And sometimes it’s realizing help is already standing right beside us, but we’re still gripping the task with both hands.
So here’s something you can carry into your own week ~ although maybe “carry” is the wrong word this time.
Look around for one thing that doesn’t actually require you.
Not ten things.
We’re not reorganizing your entire life before Tuesday.
Just one.
Maybe somebody else in the house can handle supper one night.
Maybe the kids or grandkids can take ownership of one job you’ve automatically been doing.
Maybe tomorrow’s lunch can come from tonight’s leftovers instead of becoming another decision in the morning.
Maybe something can be put where you’ll actually use it instead of requiring you to hunt for it every single time.
Maybe a recurring task can finally become somebody else’s responsibility after you show them how.
Or maybe the next step is simply noticing how often you say:
“I’ll just do it.”
You don’t have to fix that sentence every time.
Just notice it.
Because sometimes relief doesn’t come from learning how to do more.
Sometimes it comes from realizing you don’t have to personally do everything you already know how to do.
Off the Apron
This week, take that thought beyond the kitchen counter.
Where have you built routines, relationships, or systems that are already capable of supporting you ~ if you’ll let them?
There may already be more help around you than you’ve been allowing yourself to receive.
And if your kitchen is one of the places where you’re carrying too much, spend a little time with Mastering Your Kitchen Space here on Your Bowl Connection. You don’t need to overhaul the whole room. Sometimes seeing one troublesome space differently is enough to uncover the next useful step.
From the Porch
Before you head into the new week, sit with one question:
What am I still carrying simply because I know how?
Don’t make yourself a project out of the answer.
Pick one thing.
Teach it. Share it. Simplify it. Prepare for it. Or just let somebody who loves you handle it this time.
And if you’re not quite sure which room of Your Bowl Connection might help with what you’re carrying, you can always stop by The Porch with Trinity. Think of it as standing at the front door saying, “Okay, here’s what’s making life harder right now. Where do I go from here?”
There’s no need to have it figured out before you knock.
Around here, that’s kind of the point.
Coffee’s on. Come on in.
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